An Atlanta Event: Pink Pearls and Girls Together

UPDATE:  Due to impending inclement weather in the Atlanta area, we are going to cancel tomorrow’s event and reschedule it sometime this spring. We apologize for any inconvenience and we sincerely hope you’ll join us when the weather is warm and pleasant! Stay tuned for any further updates.
posted 2/10/14 at 10:25 am

Amoena USA is teaming up with Spa Sydell and Livi Rae Lingerie (you know, the Double Divas girls) at an exclusive breast cancer survivor event tomorrow, Feb. 11, in Midtown.

pink pearls invitationLet Molly & Cynthia provide you with a specialized bra fitting, focusing on your unique symmetry and balance to help you look and feel your best in comfortable and seductive lingerie from Amoena.

You will also get the opportunity to meet fellow breast cancer survivors from the Young Survival Coalition, and learn more about their resources and events.

This event is open to everyone, so bring your friends and family and help support breast cancer awareness. It’s a lovely girls’ night out, with a supportive purpose!

We are offering different packages, each of which include a personalized fitting, a bra, and a Swarovski bracelet. A portion of all sales will benefit the Young Survival Coalition.

pink pearl bracelet

If you book a package with a massage, please call Spa Sydell at (404) 255-7727 to confirm your appointment time. Book your massage during the day of the event and recieve a special gift from Spa Sydell. 

Let us celebrate YOU! Get all the details and Register here!

Posted in Amoena Press Releases, Bra Fittings, Breast Cancer Awareness, Breast Cancer Survivors, Giving Back, In the News, Support Groups | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Seamless, Strapless, Shaping Solutions for your Fashion Moments

Amoena’s new shapewear collection delivers the lingerie items on every woman’s wish list

Finding the perfect strapless bra is a challenge for most women, but when you’ve had a mastectomy going strapless seems almost impossible. Leading breast care designer Amoena has risen to the challenge, however, with its new strapless bra that incorporates fine mesh pockets to hold a breast form or bust enhancer comfortably, safely and discreetly in place.

Malissa Magyar, Amoena’s marketing manager, explains: “Whatever the season, a strapless bra is a must for every woman’s lingerie collection. But until now, women who wear a breast form have struggled to find a bra that fits the bill and, whether you’ve had breast surgery or not, strapless bras can often feel restricting. Amoena has a reputation for designing lingerie that fits like a dream, and this bra is no exception. And because it also has a convertible option, with detachable straps that can be crossed over at the back, plus a set of clear straps, we think it will be a great favorite this spring.”

Amoena Barbara strapless mastectomy bra

Amoena’s first strapless bra, Barbara

The new strapless bra (Barbara, Style #2457) is part of Amoena’s shapewear collection that also includes a new ‘3D’ wire-free bra that uses ingenious stitching to offer the support and shape of an underwire style; a back-shaping bra (Magdalena, Style #2463) that helps streamline the upper back and looks great under fitted tops; seam-free panties; and a range of tummy-control shapewear for the perfect silhouette.

The shapewear range is part of Amoena’s spring/summer 2014 collection, available at selected Amoena retailers, starting in January.

To find out more about Amoena and locate stores nationwide, visit www.amoena.us.

Media inquiries, please visit our Press Room.

Posted in Amoena Fashion, Amoena Press Releases, Amoena Textiles, In the News, Inside Amoena, Intimate Apparel, Mastectomy Products, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Preaching to the Acquired

I’m not embarrassed to admit it. I’ve had a couple of rough months. I’ve been dealing with and talking to women with breast cancer long enough to realize my plight is nothing special. Having said that, in the past few months I’ve also realized there are some lessons we seem to be faced with over and over whether we feel we’ve already learned what we need to know or not.

In a previous post I mentioned I’ve been diagnosed with DCIS and plan to start a clinical trial in Philadelphia in late March. Even with this new diagnosis and the decisions I will be making about whether or not to have a bilateral mastectomy, etc., my life felt pretty much like rainbows and roses, because everyone kept assuring me that DCIS is not life threatening.

And then, just a couple of days before Christmas while I was taking a shower, I discovered a lump under the scar tissue beneath where I’d had 21 lymph nodes removed 18 years ago during my first breast cancer surgery. Here is how that moment felt – it was as though time had stopped (along with my heart, brain, well, pretty much everything except those parts of my body that REALLY wanted to purge)! At this point I want to once again say, why is it we seem to always find a lump on a weekend or holiday so there’s nothing we can do but feel it over and over again – and worry?

SaintGermain-pink-drinkI don’t want to draw this out so here’s what happened: Over the Christmas break I had a doctor examine the lump, I had an ultrasound to see the lump, and I had a biopsy to remove and evaluate the lump. Thank God for family, friends – and my new favorite drink: Saint Germain with pink grapefruit juice, a whisper of gin, a splash of grenadine and lots of ice – I somehow survived the over two weeks it took to get the results. Whatever it was under my armpit was benign. (And I am not going to apologize for drinking alcohol, although I fully appreciate it is not good for me – but if anyone ever needed a bit of liquid courage, I did!)

Throughout this most recent drama I once again tried to prepare myself for bad news, and I realized something. I’m really, really, really tired of bad news. Not just for myself but for all of us. And I’m also feeling what I assume is survivor’s remorse because I know exactly how fortunate I am – I also know not everyone gets the phone call I was lucky enough to receive.

Before I learned the biopsy results, I realized that sometime during those stressful weeks I had started talking to myself out loud, and it wasn’t because I was drinking. I was so sick of worrying, and so tired of feeling like Debbie Downer (really, just how much does a friend or loved one want to hear?) that I would catch myself saying things to the only audience on hand (that would be me) like “There’s no use worrying about it, you big goofball. Whatever is going to happen, is going to happen.” Luckily, at least up until this point, I was not answering myself.

I sang songs like Whenever I Feel Afraid. I recited Psalms. I looked at myself in the mirror and said “It’s okay, it’s okay.” I wondered if I was suffering from PTSD. Then I pretty much accepted that if I wasn’t there was definitely something wrong with me! Along with my new favorite drink, I think I’ve earned being a tad neurotic and anxious.

And throughout this whole process I acquired just a smidgen of wisdom about learning how to accept what is whether we want to or not. I am now actively working on ways to learn how to stop worrying so much and to let go of fear (again, there is no alcohol involved!) That is probably not an easy thing for most of us – but I think it’s particularly difficult for anyone who keeps butting heads with a potentially deadly unknown.

I promise next month I will share something uplifting – something funny – something interesting. I promise. I am also determined that for the time being, the most ominous thing I will look for during my showers is a bar of soap.

So, you can take this bit of relieved rambling for what it is – just that – or you can cut to probably the very most important thing I shared. The recipe for a really, really good drink!

Posted in Breast Cancer Survivors, Early Detection, Positive Thinking, Recipes, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

2014 POWER Symposium Registration is Open

the POWER Symposium

Amoena and Juzo host fourth annual conference – Register now!

Online registration  is now open for the fourth annual POWER Symposium. Join Amoena and Juzo March 6 – 9, 2014, in Nashville, TN. The conference will take place in the heart of Music City at the Gaylord Opryland Resort & Convention Center. The 2014 conference is shaping up to be the best yet—packed with dynamic speakers, insightful content and incredible deals. We are confident that you’ll take away new ideas to help grow your business and products your customers will love.

Our robust schedule won’t disappoint. The three-day symposium kicks off with a half-day session on Medicare with representatives from each jurisdiction. You asked for more time with Medicare—you got it. Since we’re in Nashville, our first keynote speaker is local songwriter and musician Jana Stanfield who is sure to leave you feeling inspired and energized for the rest of the conference. We’ve also added more networking opportunities with your peers, including a roundtable discussion on proven business strategies. A panel of medical experts will explain patient cases, ailments, treatments, trends and products that aid in recovery. Other speakers will explain more about lymphadema, marketing tactics that separate you from the competition and more.

As always, we’ll offer exclusive discounts on products from Amoena, Juzo and other exhibitors. If you’ve attended POWER before, you know we’ll also make sure you have plenty of fun! Come let us educate, inspire and entertain you.

Register online for the2014 POWER Symposium. You’ll save by registering early. Registration is $80 until Friday, Jan. 17. Register now to save AND you’ll be entered to win a spa package at the Opryland Resort during your stay at POWER.

Questions? Feedback? Email POWER@administrare.com.

Posted in Amoena Tradeshows, Inside Amoena, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Mixed Blessings

Wow, this past year has been a whirlwind, and as we wind towards the end of 2013 I have been abruptly reminded of just how quickly we go from the land of the healthy to that of the breast cancer diagnosed. You’d think there would be some bodily warning signs to alert us, but as I can attest, in 1996 and then in 2005 – and now again in 2013, breast cancer does not seem to come with a warning label!

Since October (when I was diagnosed with DCIS) I have been trying to really pay attention this time. Not that I wasn’t paying attention before, but over the nearly 18 years since my original diagnosis, I’m noticing that I only really pay attention to breast cancer when someone says I have it. Because, as is human nature, when it’s in the abstract the need to be hyper-vigilant is simply not that great. Actually, when breast cancer is in the abstract, there are times when not thinking about it at all feels the most healing.

Well, I no longer have that luxury. Not only must I think about it, but I must make every attempt to take some sort of action that will allow me to say goodbye to breast cancer once and for all. And as we all know, that is no small task.

Last week I had my first round of appointments with my former oncologist and the female surgeon I will most likely be using when the time comes to make surgical decisions. Although I was not thrilled with the shift I’ve made from observer to patient, I had to chuckle when I realized just how fluidly we flow from regular human being to someone who can carry on a conversation while another person is feeling their breasts and poking fingers into their armpits. I can honestly say I would never have dreamed I could feel so relatively comfortable in these circumstances. But what else are you going to do? Flinch every time you have to disrobe? That would involve a lot of flinching!

While I was sitting in the oncology waiting room (God, how many times have I had to do this?) a young man came out of the doctor’s office and sat across from me. He couldn’t have been more than 21 or 22 – and it was obvious even to this casual observer that he was desperately ill. Whatever cancer he is suffering from is doing its best to disfigure him. I had thought when I first saw him that he had been badly burned, but overheard a nurse saying the markings I was seeing were tumors. He was waiting while they attempted to get him admitted to the hospital.

I didn’t want to appear to be staring, but he was sitting directly across from me, so it was not only awkward to look directly at him, it was equally awkward to try to avert my eyes. At one point we made eye contact and I smiled at him. It was as much to reassure myself as it was meant to show him that regardless of his physical deformities, I was trying to connect with him on a human level. My smile brought him to tears, but I wasn’t sure if I had comforted him or made him feel even more alone.

In that moment, I was absolutely, completely aware of the fact that I didn’t know what to do next. What I wanted to do was go and put my arms around him and tell him I wished there was something I could do. But I was a complete stranger, and was afraid any action on my part would be way too intrusive. In fact, I was fearful that my smile had not been seen as an act of kindness or compassion, but had only served to make him feel more alone.

I sat there wondering whose baby he was, because as a mother, I couldn’t help thinking how heartbroken someone who knows and loves him must be. I pondered why he was alone, trying not to put more drama into an already highly dramatic situation. I reassured myself that his parents lived far away and were probably on their way and would arrive any moment. I couldn’t bear the thought that he might truly be alone. And yet, I understand that not all stories even have happy beginnings.

While all of this was going through my mind, the nurse ushered me into the room so I could have my exam. In no time flat I was talking about my disease, my life, my this, my that – and the young man in the waiting room was ushered into that part of the brain where memories get stored.

I find it humbling when I give myself permission to think about what my brief encounter with that young man brought to me that day. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. He made me realize just how lucky I am. He made me wish I was wiser, so I’d somehow have known how to truly comfort him. He made me grateful my own children are healthy – but sad that he is not. He made me wish I could know his story – but understand that it is his story, not mine, and in some ways my wish is simply so I can somehow feel better.

In the coming months I will be entering a clinical trial taking place at the University of Pennsylvania. I hope to start in late March. I will be writing more about this in the future, but for the moment I just wanted to take the time to share someone with you who touched my life in a very significant way – and who ironically will never know what an impact he had.

As we enter this joyous season, I hope each of you will take a moment to reflect upon someone who changed your life in this way and send your best wishes their direction.

Posted in Giving Back, Mental Health, My Story, Positive Thinking | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Amoena Launches Fall 2014 Fashion Textiles

Now more than ever, Amoena supports women every moment of every day

The success of Amoena’s 2013 textile collections – Active wear, Night, and Home & Leisure, as well as the refreshingly sexy Everyday and Seduction lingerie lines – revealed that established leaders in pocketed bra technology can also be fashion experts. Now the company is introducing its Fall 2014 offerings for retail pre-sales.

“We’ve got a laser focus on our vision of supporting women every moment of every day,” says Marcie Peters, president and general manager for the Americas. Indeed, the comprehensive Amoena portfolio covers everything from the moment she wakes up to career essentials to versatile workout wear – along with pocketed lingerie and swimwear. “The 2014 collections will carry that vision forward with new wardrobe essentials in every segment, as well as punches of color and style that we haven’t really put into play before,” she says.

Active-Web-Graphics_Fall-2014Never forgetting comfort overall, Amoena has expanded its use of performance fabrics like Supplex, Comfort+ and Modal, to provide the consumer with an exceptional wearing experience. Particularly in the Home & Leisure collection, which includes pants, jackets and a variety of shirt styles, these fabrics feel luxurious and support with full shelf bras built into every garment.

They’ve also added some bra must-haves: Barbara, a bra with convertible straps that can also be worn strapless (an Amoena first); and Magdalena, a back-smoothing bra, top on many women’s wish lists!

Retailers and consumers will be happy to see a color palette that’s on-trend. Plenty of deep red, berry and plum appear through the limited edition bra and panty sets and will really make a statement for Fall 2014.

Everday-Web-Graphics_Fall-2014

To see the collections and secure your pre-order, retailers should contact their Amoena Account Manager or call 1-800-926-6362.

To find out more about Amoena, visit www.amoena.us.

Media inquiries, please visit our Press Room.

Posted in Active wear, Amoena Fashion, Amoena Press Releases, Amoena Textiles, Fashion, In the News, Inside Amoena, Intimate Apparel, Lifestyle, Mastectomy Products, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Wait” Lifting and Breast Cancer

Just a little over a week ago I had my yearly mammogram. I went into the fray, never once thinking anything could possibly be amiss. It’s been nearly nine years since my last breast cancer experience, so I’ve become pretty blasé about my checkups. In fact, I asked the young woman who was doing the mammogram if I needed to use the gown, since in the years since my first diagnosis I’ve shown my breasts to so many people it just seemed like a waste of a perfectly good (and clean) gown.

So, when they called me the next day and said I needed to come back for some additional views, I was more than a bit surprised. Not only surprised, but still in the mindset that the images had been blurry, or I’d moved, or …

They asked me to come back that same day (I began to have “that” feeling) – but I was still pretty chipper. When I got back to the radiology department, the tech took her additional images and asked me to wait in the adjacent room so she could make sure they didn’t need any additional views (thankfully, this time I had opted for the gown).

chairs in waiting roomA few minutes later she ushered me to yet another room (this one had a door on it, which for some reason made me even more nervous) and said the radiologist would be in to talk to me in just a moment. By now “that” feeling was galloping around my head relentlessly. I actually had to ask the tech where the nearest bathroom was. I remember apologizing and saying something like, “When I’m scared I always have to go to the bathroom.” Even in that moment I was astonished that I could go from self-sufficient and sure of myself to meek and mild like a switch had been flipped, almost as though my psyche thought if I behaved myself perhaps I wouldn’t get bad news.

The radiologist came in and explained to me they had found microcalcifications on the views of my left breast. She said there were two places and they are very small, but given my history and the fact they did not appear last year, she felt they needed to be biopsied.

By now my brain and my heart are having a race (and my bladder and bowel seem to be in on it too)! I don’t want to be afraid, but in this moment that is the only emotion I’m able to conjure. Okay, perhaps not the only emotion — I think dread is in the mix as well.
I try to tell my brain to shut up because if I’ve learned nothing else in the nearly 18 years since I first found myself in this position, it’s to not let that little voice take control. I know I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t feel fear, but I also know that fear serves absolutely no purpose when dealing with the unknown.

I faintly remember putting my clothes back on and gathering my other belongings. The radiologist told me my oncologist would call to set up the appointment for the biopsy. I thanked her and drove back to work. I do remember worrying that I would have to make up the time because I’d been gone longer than an hour. I also recall thinking just how insignificant something like a few minutes lost here and there was in the overall scheme of things.

Fast forward to the stereotactic needle biopsy

In one week, I was back at the clinic. This time for the actual biopsy. Although I’d read repeated firsthand accounts of how painless the procedure is, I was still a sweaty mess. Thank goodness my doctor called in a prescription for Xanax. At least I was able to sleep the night before. I took another that morning because I simply couldn’t bear feeling frightened.

News flash … the doctor was quite handsome. Yes, I may have been a sort of drug-induced zombie at that point … but I’m not dead! I actually find it humorous that not only was he nice to look at, but I was still able to notice under the circumstances. I didn’t just notice his looks, but also the irony. If I’m going to have a strange man look at my breast for this reason, I sure would have preferred someone who looked more like Elmer Fudd.

The procedure was actually completely painless for me. I didn’t even feel the slight needle sticks they warned me about that were used to numb the area. I was in and out in less than an hour, and much of that time was spent while they were making sure they had everything lined up correctly. The biopsy itself took just a couple of minutes for them to perform.

I listened as they told me how to care for the wound, and made small talk while the tech was putting on the gauze and tape dressing used to protect where the incision had been made (she thinks the doctor is cute too!)

And then I went right back to a place I’d visited in 1996 and again in 2005 – having to wait for the results. I’m given a form that talks about things to be on the lookout for – like running a temperature or having my breast feel hot to the touch. I’m told not to take a shower for the next two days so I can keep the wound dry. I’m told that the Steri-strips will either fall off on their own, or my doctor can take them off when I visit her for my follow-up. Then I’m told I should have the biopsy results in five working days. Repeat … five working days.

It is in that instant I feel as though I’m being dragged through a time warp. It could be 1996 or 2005 all over again, because it certainly doesn’t feel like we’ve made much progress when it comes to the tests necessary to see if we have cancer and the time it takes to find out.

So now, every time my phone rings for the next several days my heart is going to skip a beat and I’m going to have to try to put myself in that place all breast cancer patients know much too well. The ungodly no-woman’s-land that resides between illness and health, between happiness and sorrow, between bravery and fear. It’s not a place anyone would choose, and I for one can tell you that it really irritates me that so little progress has been made when it comes to how long we must wait … and wait … and wait. When a huge weight would literally be lifted from our already weary shoulders if the wait for results took less time.

Posted in Breast Cancer Treatment, Early Detection, Lifestyle, Mammograms & other Tests, My Story, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Amoena and Plus Model Magazine, the Love Your Body Issue

plus model magazine cover oct 2013

Front cover feature: Amoena’s Lara Lace in sexy red!

We’ve been so proud to be involved with Plus Model magazine this October, bringing readers the annual Love Your Body issue of their highly successful online venture.

We’re happy they wanted to highlight and honor breast cancer survivors for October, because as we all know, women come in all shapes and sizes — and all of us are susceptible to the disease. In the Editor’s note on page 21, Madeline Jones gives a strong message: “We should love ourselves in the skin we are in, and that means loving our bodies and taking care of them.” Hear, hear! We’d like to add — it also means loving our bodies even after they’ve been through the wringer. Scars and all, you’re beautiful.

Besides highlighting Amoena’s Fall collections, the issue features tons of fashion and beauty tips. Coats and boots, hot perfumes, and one of our favorites is the natural facial and body scrub recipes starting on page 37. You can try these yourself with ingredients you probably already have at home, and rest easy knowing they don’t have any harmful junk in them.

We also really enjoyed the interview with their cover model (who loved our lingerie!), the Brazillian model, Fluvia (p. 135). She’s got advice for aspiring models, stories about her traveling and trailblazing experiences, and honest insight about body image.

PMM and Amoena donated $1,500 to the Young Survival Coalition in celebration of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and this issue’s partnership.

Don’t miss it — you’ll be inspired!

Posted in Breast Cancer Awareness, Fashion, Giving Back, In the News, Lifestyle, Uncategorized, Young Survivors | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Have a Sync-ing Feeling!

I was all set to write a blog post that contained some tasty, healthy recipe – or at the very least was so funny you would feel compelled to send me a thank you note for making your day. That was before. After months and months of trying to act like I know what I’m doing when it comes to anything high tech, I finally managed to upgrade my nearly four-year old iPhone to the latest, greatest, iOS7 system.

I made the mistake of telling everyone within ear shot that I’d been unable to upgrade any of the apps on my phone because it was so outdated there was actually a chipmunk inside running everything by spinning on one of those little wheels. This did not amuse any of my more savvy IT sorts of friends. Actually, it even made people who are still using a slide rule roll their eyes.

While I was in Chicago last month, I made the mistake of mentioning that I’d finally purchased an iPad to my brother-in-law. Jim is retired, so he has lots of time on his hands. And he likes to spend that time puttering and upgrading and improving.

I, on the other hand, have absolutely no time I can call my own, so I spend my days whining, cajoling and (I’m not proud of this) trying desperately not to have to learn anything technically challenging. I can’t even say this is a girl thing, because many of my female friends can run circles around me when it comes to understanding not only what an app is, but what an app does.

So the moment the words “I finally bought an iPad” escaped my lips, Jim was on a mission. When he casually asked me if I had synced my iPhone to my iPad, I thought I still liked him. Even as I cautiously queried, “What does that mean?” I thought there still might be hope for me. I was SO wrong.

I distinctly recall Jim saying that syncing your Apple products was painless and easy. In no time at all, I was convinced he had absolutely no idea what either of those words meant, and that if it were physically possible I’d like for him to have to birth a ten-pound baby. Yes, I am a very bad sister-in-law – but I think Jim has already surmised as much.

I need one of these thingies, right? [photo credit: xololounge, morguefile.com]

I need one of these thingies, right? [photo credit: Aldo Garza (xololounge), morguefile.com]

So as not to ruin our trip to Chicago, I coyly begged off even attempting any sort of sync-related endeavor, vowing earnestly to sync everything in sight once I got home. Although Jim pretended to believe me, I’m pretty sure he knew I had no idea what I was talking about.

He was right.

My first syncing attempts ended with my iPhone’s battery being completely drained while my iPad remained exactly as it had been – un-syncable (though it might have been sinkable, and there were moments when I wanted desperately to throw it in the ocean and run away screaming)!

Lucky for me, after hearing my tale of woe, a co-worker took pity and showed me how to attach my iPhone to a computer and download the new operating system (that’s an OS for those of you I can still impress with my vast computer knowledge – which I’m thinking is pretty much no one).

Although the screen told us it was going to take four hours to download, it actually only took about two (what a miracle of modern technology). The end result? Now I have icons I can’t identify, apps I can’t understand and friends I can’t call because I don’t know how to import their information.

I think this definitely calls for a bit of lip-syncing … @#%^&*+! … if you get my drift!

Posted in Blog Stuff, Humor, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Custom Her Service

I was talking to a friend recently about a SurveyMonkey query I took a few weeks ago, asking about my views on what constitutes good customer service. Essentially, the survey was designed to determine whether or not department stores should be offering appointments for their customers to actually meet with a real, live person to assist you while shopping.

[Ed. Note: Most Amoena retailers do offer appointments for bra and breast form fittings, and customers find it very helpful! Call your local store for an appointment today.]

I realized while taking the survey that I actually prefer shopping online and it has nothing to do with waiting in line, or having more of a variety to select from, or even the promise of free shipping. I shop online because I am bombarded with emails on a daily basis offering me a 50% discount here, a 30% off promo code there, sometimes even a deal as enticing as $20 off when I spend $100. This all sounds fantastic until I realize that if I get 20 of these emails a day and actually take advantage of just a few, I may have saved over 100% all told, but I’ve also spent more money than I’d ever intended.

While I was pondering this, I speculated that I am not the only person who deals with this dilemma. We are, after all, consumers – and as women, most of us not only enjoy shopping, we also love a bargain – even if we don’t need it. Which gave me the idea for some customer service that would really be helpful.

woman's eyesI think it’s high time that someone offers a service called Custom-Eyes Your Email. Custom-Eyes would scan all of your incoming emails and toss out anything that is shouting about sales, discounts or any of the other thousands of opportunities “too good to miss” that hit your inbox. And unlike your typical spam filter, Custom-Eyes would provide you with a monthly tally extolling how much money you’ve actually saved by not taking advantage of all of these promotions.

Sure, I might miss the gadget that promises to remove unwanted hair, or the temporary tattoos – even the glow in the dark slippers for those cold nights when I don’t want to have to turn the lights on to go get a drink of water. But I’m thinking that my avid consumerism will still thoroughly enjoy seeing just how much I’ve really saved – that is, unless the Custom-Eyes service itself costs an arm and a leg!

Posted in Bra Fittings, Humor, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment